I told myself that I am letting go of what I am.
Perhaps just for this story, to understand better, what it is I am meaning.
Or that I need a little bit more healing.
It is my mind that has been going back to a couple of years ago.
Where I was in a relationship but didn’t have the strength to let go of that person.
It is not so much of who he is, or what he did.
It was just that the relationship didn’t fit the standard that was good for my health.
Shortly after meeting him, I became sick and it was an unknown reason that my body collapsed.
In and out of the hospital, for several months, it was that they said it might be a burn-out.
Uncertain of their own findings, the results of all the tests, didn’t show anything.
The answer provided was the only thing they could have said.
Disappointment was the least I thought of, but it was also not what I wanted to hear.
However, it gave me the chance to find answers on my own.
Uncertain of what I would find, but nothing else seemed to move me forward.
Stuck in my bed, staring at the ceiling.
It was certain that that wasn’t a life that I wanted to be living.
‘All things that are not helping me, need to be removed from my life’, is what I had said to myself.
Perhaps it was a vow that I came up with that day.
Fast forward to 1,5 years to this moment, it was the 8th of august that helped me to break up that relationship I had.
The point of the story is not about breaking up, nor about the 8th of august.
But sometimes we are not able to reach a destination and need some help from an outside source.
It was the 8th of august, Lion’s gate that gave me strength to be brave.
Showed me the words to end this relationship with this person.
You might wonder if this is sustainable and something legitimate.
I can’t answer that question. All I can say is that I already did it.
It improved my health, I became a better person and I can still live with myself.
There are no negative feelings or any shame why I did it.
In that light I think it is approved to use it in this way.
But what is the connection with what I am facing now? You might ask.
And why is it that I am seeing this almost 5 years later than this break up that I was facing?
I was wondering this myself, as Lion’s gate had nothing to do with love, but about strength, courage and owning your business.
Among some of the things it stands for.
It is that I told myself at the start of the month, that I am letting go of who I am.
This is also something that is the lion known for.
About yourself and being who you are.
What I have come to understand is that relationships are a reflection of self.
This is how I started this journey, that we are connected in relationships to parts of ourselves that can be toxic or are not serving our highest good.
Not that it is something we have done wrong or is our fault.
There are many reasons why this can happen.
The lesson is to understand that this can happen and there is a way to leave it behind.
In that light we need to leave behind or let go of relationships to move forward in life.
For the love of ourself, so to speak.
And although it causes heartbreak and tears, one day you will get over it, because there is a life for you to live.
At least that is what I did.
I took that leap, trusting my gut feeling and was letting go where I should have.
Not trying to persuade you to do this, just letting you know that this is there and that it is something I have done.
A way to heal myself and a tool that is helping me to come further in life.
A deeper meaning is that relationships can be a block to our self development or to become who we are in general.
This is all connected to the energy of the Lion and at the highest peak on the the 8th of august.
Of course there is much more to it, but this story is about how it is connected to love and my love journey in specific.
That said, I am not in a relationship at this moment.
Yet, I am connected in many ways to things and people.
It is a way to be in the present and a form of identification that is making my heart beat.
However, that is not always beneficial for the growth of my being and can cause problems of the heart. As a dysfunction of a connection can cause trauma and it is a choice I am making here that I don’t want this in my life.
To stay fit and healthy. As I have come to know that health is the most important thing in life.
As least in mine.
Staring at the ceiling, laying in bed all day, is not a life to live.
So it is here, after all these years that Lion’s gate is showing me the connections that are not empowering me or serving my highest good.
This energy gave me the power to break up, the last time I felt this energy.
And although I can explain further what it is I am leaving behind, or breaking up so to speak. An ending that is welcome, for me to rely on myself.
It is the point that Lion’s gate is not just a spiritual portal, but actually a portal that can help us further.
Not just for myself, but for society as a whole.
To improve our lives, not just for the benefit of ourselves.
I have found that this energy can lift us up, where we can not reach ourselves.
To give us the power and strength to leave behind what is no good.
To have a love that is strong and I can call mine.