A different sound I want to put out there.
Something I felt doing after reading my last story.
I am talking about the negativity that is what I am seeing.
The stories I am hearing, about relationships.
Complaining about the other half, excuses why people stay together with each other or just some other example in that category.
It is those whispers of the wind that have become a common tune.
A frequency we think we should be vibing and we start to think this is all that is out there.
Or just something I was thinking.
It has become a reason that I have become fearful and even afraid to commit.
Because if the whispers of the wind are common sense, but it is something that is making us afraid.
There is a discrepancy to our inner and outer reality.
And that is a problem.
At least for me.
I thought about it for a little.
The fact that certain examples can have an impact, does something to your system.
If I want to get rid of the feeling that I am experiencing, perhaps I should change my own ways.
Something I was thinking.
But I think, in general my love journey is quite uplifting and so this story fits just right in there.
And so I thought to write something positive, instead of all those messages that are out there already.
An example I can give is that there is a lot to do about age.
When speaking about an older woman, dating a younger man.
Well, I don’t have to go into details about that.
There is enough out there already.
And all I can think is that all those things said about it keep being repeated by anyone.
Not a particular one in specific.
It was surprising to me and made me start questioning.
Does it say anything about those relationships?
At all?
In the first place?
Why do these people come together if the answer they provide is nothing different from others?
If there is so much negativity around it, why do you want to have that kind of relationship?
Is negativity the only thing that we know?
In any sense and form?
These were the main question that was at the bottom of it.
But you know.
This is just my observation of what I see.
Perhaps even feel and what I am thinking.
It made me realize we need to have something else put out there.
Because to me all of this is making me afraid that people always have something to say about anything.
So I thought about something else I was feeling.
I believe I am even proud of this.
That I am 40 and still not married.
It is the pressure I have felt for so long.
To fulfill some expectations, have a certain job, get children before a specific age.
Provide the outside world an explanation for god know’s why.
However it is not about that.
I am not still single for this reason, because it would make those people saying these things important.
It is about the positivity that I was able to conquer.
Facing my own fears, because that is what is underneath all of it.
Where at the end is that I am not married at the age of 40.
My plate is still empty, a page to be written still.
A virgin in some sense and this is where I am proud.
I was able to look myself in the mirror and not follow the road of what I was supposed to.
What others were saying, perhaps even doing.
Keeping my foot down and crying those tears, to release the loneliness it was giving.
When people are for no reason mingling in your life and think they have a right to say something about you, for the sake of not taking responsibility for themselves.
And that is where the negativity should stay.
To those wanting to know something they shouldn’t.
For me to say that the light I have found in myself is that there is no shame in the road I have embarked.
Staying alone for as long as I could, to let the world know that underneath all those questions why I wasn’t married, didn’t have children and all those other pieces of advice with the best intentions.
Are no longer making me doubt myself and where I proudly can say that I made it this far.
The world looks promising to me and I believe a lot comes from the fact, because I stayed alone.
That I didn’t get into a relationship for just some reason or got married because someone told me that it was a good idea or any other thing that made me bend to the ways of society.
It is the liberty I feel right now, that I will commit whenever the time is right for me.
Whenever I am ready for it.
I believe this is the only reason to commit and go about.
To find that partner for love or for life.
However, it doesn’t matter.
The message that I want to be known is that it is ok to choose your own path and find whatever suits you best.
In every aspect of life, not just love.
Because sometimes we don’t know, let alone we know what someone else should be doing.
In whatever way.
Let everyone find out what they like and what kind of life they want to live.
If that is one involves being married, with children or just alone, it doesn’t matter.
The most import part is that you are happy.