‘Why are you single?’
This question had been popping up in different ways.
Only because it was showing at least 3 times it made me realize I needed to find an answer.
The first time, I had a conversation with my friend.
He wasn’t dating anyone, when I asked him.
I hadn’t seen him in a few months, although we had been in contact.
We were not in the same place.
Him traveling and me focusing on healing and growing up.
An intermezzo where we didn’t meet regularly, once a week.
Something we did, when we were not occupied with other things.
We were always speaking about the things that were going on in our lives.
Dating and love was not an exception.
Among the topics we were talking about.
He wanted to meet someone in real life.
Is what he said.
‘Not from an app’, he continued.
And then he named a few.
He said it very surely.
And I believed him, when he told me.
The fact was that he wasn’t meeting anyone at the moment.
A reason why he is still single.
This is what I made out of this part of the conversation we had.
The first answer I found.
What can be a reason of being single.
I didn’t think much of it.
And then I saw some content on social media that caught my eye.
A girl who was talking about why she was still single.
It wasn’t an epiphany she had, nor that someone had asked her.
For me it all came a bit out of the blue.
Why was she speaking about this?
I asked myself, while watching her.
The content was continuing and she said it this way, that you need to meet someone and get together.
If you don’t do that this is a reason you are single.
It didn’t really sound promising the way she said it and I believe for her that is not the only reason she is still single.
Because she said it in a way it was outside of herself.
It also didn’t really sound lovely.
Like you wanted to be with her.
Of course this is my interpretation of the content.
I continued with what I was doing and didn’t think much of it anymore.
I was going through my phone and was checking some apps that I hadn’t been using for some time.
It was during a full moon, however cleaning is one of my habits.
Then I remembered the voice recorder app.
I recorded an interview, because someone wanted to talk with me and while I was listening to that I saw more voice recordings.
From last year, I started listening to them.
Some I deleted, due to the full moon.
However there was one recording that I kept.
A monologue I recorded after I had finished work.
I must have been home and needed to ventilate.
However there was nobody around, so I had decided to record it.
Not with any intention to keep it or doing anything with it in general.
It was nice to listen to it, a year from that moment.
I was speaking about how I had told someone that whenever I come home I want to be alone.
That I didn’t want to be around anyone.
As a response he had said that this was a block of love.
Better to say, that this was a reason why I am still single.
Those were his exact words.
In the voice recording I am saying that he is completely right about that.
However, I never said that to him in real life.
Perhaps for good reasons.
In the conversation I had with him, he continued explaining to me, that after work, when coming home this is a moment you come together with your partner or that this is a time where you can spend time together.
However I understand that this is optional and that this is not always like this.
For the simple reason that one or the other is not always home at the same time.
The point that he made was.
If you want to be alone after work.
As an example.
Or want to be alone in general.
It is a reason why you are still single.
The way I understood this, is because this is reserved time to be with your partner.
And if you rather want to be alone, even if this is for good reasons, it could be a reason for you to miss out on a partner.
An epiphany that made my heart tremble and skip just a little.
‘Could that really be something why people are single?’
Is what I thought.
As a matter of fact, I don’t really know.
Not that I have all the answers.
I was just thinking if there was an answer to that question.
However I know sometimes we just want to be alone for our own good reasons.
Because we need to heal from a love that didn’t work or are hurt for other reasons and we rather keep that time for ourselves.
I believe that is all good when you want to be alone like this.
That said.
I can’t come up with any other reasons.
But I believe it is for those who are not aware, that if you rather be alone after work, (still as an example), then rather be spending time with others it is a reason why you are not together with someone.
A reason you are still single.
Because it is a fact that where people meet, love can occur.
You have to be out there.
Before a love can enter your house.
Just for you to know, to not be afraid.
Mingling and meeting are just fine.
For you to see what will happen.
And if you get hurt somehow.
Rest assured you will heal.
There is no shame in that.
A lifepath I am walking with pride.
Something that has solid ground.
Whatever it is that you need to be doing.
To get out there, meet people.
Loving yourself to become a lovely person, that people want to spend time with or just make space in your life, so you won’t spend that reserved time for being together alone.
Whatever it is that you need to be doing.
I am sure you will find something that is just right.