‘Do you want a love experience?’
It was a question out of nowhere, although we had a conversation in that sense.
Relationships were still the topic, in that sense it was not random to be asked.
I felt good when talking about this.
That topic and about relationships in general.
Something I didn’t say in that talk, perhaps a reason why I am writing it down now here.
It was more a feeling and something that I had in mind to say.
However, I didn’t say it and that is why.
‘I believe I am good in relationships, although I haven’t really had a good example before’.
Some words I kept to myself, although I had the intention to say it out loud, in that meeting.
The words just didn’t come out.
So much I was saying and wanted to be said.
Perhaps it was just the time that was limited.
It feels good that the words are now released.
Set free or how to pronounce it.
I have said it before, that there are so many examples out there.
About divorces, foul play and other secrecy.
It is everywhere I look and what I hear.
Those whispers in the wind.
From people talking, sharing their life stories.
Which almost always entails a broken relationship, a failed marriage or some other story.
I mean, I am just telling what I have come across till this far.
And I believe you can only agree with me.
Of course there are some success stories out there.
Where I always have my doubts.
‘Is it really?’
It is the main question that stays with me.
In every sense and form.
It never feels finished, there is always something that makes my toes crawl or leaves something behind, where I don’t feel good about.
But of course it could also just be me.
Perhaps I am searching for that one thing.
That I don’t want to believe what I am seeing and looking to compromise.
But then there are the things I see on the news channels.
Although it is entertainment, there is a truth behind it.
One that makes me fearful and afraid to commit.
To say that the fear of commitment doesn’t always come from ourselves, but can be attached to us, because of what we see and the examples provided.
In public, on tv, social media or perhaps closer to our home.
It isn’t necessarily something we experience or feel, is what I am saying.
And that could be the problem, or the solution at the same time.
It is the lack of good examples of relationships and marriage that can make the world turn around.
At least mine.
Since this is what I am experiencing.
Perhaps I can even call this a love experience.
Although I believe you had something else in mind, when I was talking about ‘love experience’ at the beginning of this story.
I know, because I had the same.
I thought it was about a guy that I shared the bed with and left me in tears.
Something along those lines.
However, that never happened to me.
Perhaps even for good reasons.
But I guess it would be just an example of a love experience that we know.
Where I’d like to find out if there are other forms of love experiences out there.
Taking away that fear and making me want to go further.
Believing in the positivity that is out there and finding what I need to.
Where I am longing for more.