When you understand these are average places, that are meeting that standard of meeting someone, it would be a better question to ask, ‘am I looking for something average? And is average something that I am?’
Category: Love
Where to find love?
Where to find someone outside a dating app?
It is a question I have been asking myself.
Not just lately, but it has been coming back more and more in recent days.
I have wondered already for a long time.
What are the options when it comes to finding someone?
Perhaps even when it comes to love.
But that part of love of is not necessary for me to answer.
In general I am curious and would like to know what else is there, when it comes to meeting someone.
Is love to take a leap of faith or a quantum leap?
To say there are different ways to make this inner reality come to the surface, to make this quantum leap, forward movement for ourselves to progress.
We need to heal, let go and lose that weight. To find those perspectives that will make us move fast forward. Not because we want that, but because that is necessary for us to live.
It brings me back to those stories I was writing about a boy that was staring deep in my eyes and I didn’t want to take that leap with him.
You can read them on my website : thelovejourneyoflakshmi.com
It makes me question.
Is love to take a leap of faith or a quantum leap?
A love spell
My vision when it comes to men is dark as days and I will tell you why.
They told me lies for their own sake.
Put blame on my shoulder, to avoid taking their responsibility.
Named me names and spread them for people to hear someone I wasn’t.
Went behind my back with another girl or tried to be with me while they were already involved.
Used me as a shield for their own protection.
Making me feel worthless by the words they used.
Touched me at places without my consent.
Walked away with my pride, to tell other people how great they were.
Then smiled at me, like nothing ever happened.
One punched me in the face, but I have to say he was gay.
The other thought it was ok to harass me, because he didn’t get his way.
Is love to meet halfway?
What I try to say with meeting halfway is to be aware that we don’t have to take things for granted as such. Don’t have to lower our standards for the sake of a relationship, marriage, someone else or even for ourselves.
That is not the point of meeting halfway.
To me meeting halfway is that yes, sometimes things can be a bit out of control and we don’t know exactly what is happening.
I guess that is the road that we should be taking. A path to follow. For us to know we would be meeting that significant other halfway of wherever we are going.
To know, it will happen someday in the future.
Pieces of love
But above all, expressing these pieces I see happening, writing it down, processing it for my mind to understand.
It is a way for me to continue on this road of love.
To see where this all is leading to.
Since that is the real journey.
Not knowing where you are going to, but to follow what we see and feel that is coming from inside.
The man that doesn’t love you
A vivid dream it felt to me, but I think it was more something close to a reality.
One that is out there.
About men that do what they want.
Except giving the love that you deserve.
The man that doesn’t love you.
Not that this is his job, perhaps even in the first place.
Nothing he is aware of, or think he should fulfill.
If at all.
The test of love
Because honestly, I don’t think it is a test of love as such.
To me the test of love is to overcome some hurdles in ourselves to know if we are ready for that kind of love commitment.
It is a journey inward.
Let me say it like this, whenever there is a test coming, it is to know we are already there.
Just that we need this test to lock it in our mind, perhaps the heart of anything else that needs that kind of confirmation. That is what a test of love to me is about.
Perhaps just a confirmation of love.
A test is not a burden nor something we have to face, but just to know where we are at that moment in time. To see where we are going and what needs to be done.
There is no failure, perhaps not even a success, since that is not the objective.
It is just to see where you are.
And that can be anything.
A place in ourselves, or one that we understand.
A feeling or thoughts, perhaps something real.
It could all be.
The only thing that remains is what is important for us to know at that moment of the test.
Love is emotional
It is a sense of belief I had.
I don’t think you can really call it an epiphany.
That a community can bring so much more than we think about.
Not just the security and safety as a base to start from.
But it can give those experiences that are good for the heart and soul.
Partying as an example. Drinking till early in the morning.
Being shit faced and still showing up for that sunday breakfast.
While we try to keep our eyes open and everyone around knows exactly where we have been and not even feeling sorry for us. Perhaps even laughing a little bit, not just behind our back, also not laughing in our face.
Enough to feel just that, where we will remember till this day.
It could be the only way to go, to grow up and become.
Or finding the one we love.
It is where we are doing things that are on the edge, perhaps even we know we shouldn’t do.
Or at least when we think about it later, telling ourselves that it was a bit tricky, yes.
However there is no regret, just a smile on the face to capture that moment that somehow still is there.
Making us feel alive from the inside.
Object of my love desire
How beautiful what this stare in my eyes was showing.
By not following his eyes, but closing mine, staring it down.
It was telling this story.
A softness I am expressing, a way to be compassionate about him.
I think he is also just human, going with what he has.
I guess that is just what it is.
Although it did make me angry just a little.
The way he stared into my eyes.
It is an invasion of my space, perhaps even time.
Where I am asleep from the inside for reasons that are good for me.
Taking a rest doesn’t always happen when we have our eyes closed.
From a human perspective you would do too, honestly.
However that stare woke me up, to understand that fire I have inside of me.