‘Why are you single?’
This question had been popping up in different ways.
Only because it was showing at least 3 times it made me realize I needed to find an answer.
Category: Healing
A story of my love life
Lately there are a lot of men talking to me.
Conversations I am having, mainly because they want to say something.
I can’t really say that I am listening, but I am trying my best.
To at least be there.
Of course I am.
Most of the time.
Not to insinuate something different.
Just that I am not always there with my mind, because sometimes it is hard to follow what they are saying.
To have a love that I can call mine
I told myself that I am letting go of what I am.
Perhaps just for this story, to understand better, what it is I am meaning.
Or that I need a little bit more healing.
It is my mind that has been going back to a couple of years ago.
Where I was in a relationship but didn’t have the strength to let go of that person.
Distance makes an energy match
Distance creates attraction, is something I was thinking for some time.
It was that I took my distance for a while.
Mainly from people.
It wasn’t something that I was doing on purpose, but it just happened to be like that.
I went back to the Netherlands, leaving behind Lisbon how I knew it, due to circumstances.
I believe it was a process that happened automatically.
It was that I was in the Netherlands, seeing people literally from a distance.
The space between where I was in the past and the difference with the present was giving me time to have a look.
I choose love
It was in a moment of tiredness, that I gave my number.
They were sitting at a table and we were invited to sit there.
I was with company and the sun was shining.
The girls I was with, knew the people sitting at the table.
‘Why not?’
Is what I thought.
That I am now open to love
It is long I have struggled with the relationship with my mother.
A connection never lost, since we were separated, when our ways parted in Mumbai, India.
However the connection got lost somehow.
Not necessarily to be found, but due to space, time and the way of living.
Not by circumstance.
It is the reconnection of her presence. To understand her passing.
To grieve a loss that is part of life.
We all loose someone that is dear to our heart at one point in our life.
But it makes me wonder, what it is that makes it special.
This reconnection with my mother.
For the love of my body
The last couple of days I have been sick.
A slow down of my body.
And many more things.
To give me time for things I needed to learn and know.
A time for introspection and insights for my being.
To understand and grow to become again healthy.
What is the right time to start a relationship?
Many times I have heard : ‘He is already in a relationship, we just broke up’.
Therefor it was more surprising to me when my friend said : ‘I was in a relationship for a long time, being with someone else already would not be respectfull to her’.
This was the first time I heard something like this.
It was even more surprising to me, coming from a guy telling me this.
There is more to the story
With one of my lovers I had some words.
Arguing is not something I like, but sometimes it just happens.
He had said it already a couple of times.
“They gave you clothes and a roof above your head, you should be more appreciative”.
He was talking about my adoptive parents and even called himself in this argument we had, the advocate of the devil.
The current of the river
It is a lost memory.
At least I lost it somehow.
The irony is that I remembered it just now.
It came back to me, because of some decisions I made.
About my life and about the things I was feeling.
Perhaps even things I have experienced.