I believe I am finally through it.
It wasn’t fun and sometimes even very tiring.
Author: Lakshmi
Love, don’t take me for granted
I finished watching the movie.
The movie that I was talking about in my previous story and I wrote a story about : ‘A love match made on Earth’.
It was still one hour that I needed to watch and I have to say it didn’t disappoint me one single bit.
In the second part that I was watching this movie, it was confirmed that the souls were applying for a place on Earth.
As for some the message was that they needed to have some additional factor to be able to perform this job. It was for others to be in control of their emotions, to not get caught up by their feelings or to take the interview process seriously.
There was also one girl that I was despising from the beginning.
I couldn’t really put my finger on it.
For a second I even thought that I was jealous of her.
A love match made on Earth
I was watching a movie called Nine days on Netflix.
I started over my subscription many times, to change the algorithm and to be able to see different movies.
Not only to have a relief of watching the genre of movies, but starting over in general feels like a relief to me.
So, I was watching this movie ‘Nine days’, about the selection process before souls make it to earth.
I don’t know if you can call it an intermezzo before coming here.
But as many application processes on earth, for finding a job, in that light it made sense to my mind.
Love is love, no matter what age
I was going through my own pictures on my phone and saw some video’s I once made.
One was when I was celebrating my 37th birthday.
A little game I played, with people I once knew.
It was actually a drinking game, where questions were asked and then we had to drink at some point.
I don’t really know how it was played, since we decided to just answer the questions.
We had to laugh a lot about it. About the answers.
But it wasn’t much about the questions, answers or the celebration of my birthday.
It was about something that I heard, when watching another video.
Could this be a love connection?
I don’t really know what it started.
That I was having these thoughts.
For a second it felt like I was having feelings.
For this other person.
But when I felt deeper, they weren’t there.
I don’t know if that was a good thing.
However I was glad I didn’t have any feelings for this person.
Perhaps I had these thoughts just to make sure I was looking deeper.
To rule out that there was something that could lead to something.
The place where love can come home
It was something that was said to me today.
Something that I was feeling for some time I wanted to write about.
I was teaching a yoga class and one of the girls came to me afterwards.
She said, ‘I don’t know of the women actually understand of what you were saying and if the class is effective to them’.
The women I am teaching are refugees and they don’t fully comprehend the language I am speaking.
So I answered her question.
I told her that yoga is not about the language that we speak, or that we need to hear all the words to understand the meaning.
I choose love
It was in a moment of tiredness, that I gave my number.
They were sitting at a table and we were invited to sit there.
I was with company and the sun was shining.
The girls I was with, knew the people sitting at the table.
‘Why not?’
Is what I thought.
A system where love can flourish
There is a story I wrote, where I questioned if my father loved my mother.
Of course this doesn’t come out of nowhere, but it has been something I have been thinking about lately.
Perhaps because it was father’s day.
I was thinking about this boy that I have been meeting.
Where I didn’t feel even a single feeling.
But before all that, I need to start to find a lover first
‘How old are you?’
A question that is rising more often.
Soon after I say my age, the question is sometimes: ‘Do you still want children?’
Not so much in a sense of dating, but it is the way Dutch people are speaking.
It was one time when I was working in the restaurant that I said ‘I am 38’.
I think the customer was overwhelmed by that number and said : ‘You need to hurry before getting children’.
Love is to go after what you are feeling
I was dressing up this morning.
First, I was wearing a green dress.
However, it showed a little bit of my hips and my belly.
Normally I don’t really have a problem with it, but I was having my period and it had been very hot the last couple of days.
I was more bloated than normal and for some reason it made me uncomfortable.
Perhaps because it wasn’t really how I am from the inside.
Although it wouldn’t have been a problem to wear that dress, I mean, nobody would really notice.
But to me it did.
So, I changed my dress to a black one.
Wearing something black, is always a good idea.
I took a picture in the mirror and a memory came to my mind about a day not far in the past.
Where I was also dressing up for just a weekday.