I drink coffee.
To take away or just one next to my laptop, when I am writing a story.
At a café or just at home.
But when it comes to coffee, I believe it has a little bit of mystery around it.
I don’t really know how to explain it.
But it is something that happened on several occasions, while I was getting a coffee that started to make me wonder.
‘Is there a connection between love and coffee?’
The first time I had something happening when I was ordering my coffee, there was a girl standing behind the counter.
She looked up behind the coffee machine and made a little eye contact.
To make sure I didn’t have to wait too much longer, before I could order.
I don’t know if it was reassuring, however it is something nice to do, I believe.
She finished what she was doing.
I think it was a coffee on the go, as far as I could see.
Because the coffee machine is always blocking the whole view.
Perhaps there is nothing for me to see there anyway.
She came to the counter where there was only the paying device.
To make it easier for me to pay for my coffee.
But of course I still needed to order.
So she would know what to make before I could take it away with me.
I don’t know if this is something in my imagination, but always when I stay there, trying to order what I need that day, I feel somewhat awkward and have a hard time saying what I want to say.
Although it is just coffee.
It always makes me wonder, why I feel this way.
It isn’t something difficult and most of the time they ask the questions in a way, I hardly have to say anything.
But of course I still need to do it and pay for my purchase.
I really don’t know why it is such a hard thing to do.
However, when I am finally there, it is where the magic actually begins.
Since all formalities are checked, it is open for things to happen.
At first I never knew that this existed, but somehow it is an opening to see if there is any connection.
Perhaps you can even call it flirting.
I don’t know if you can say it like that.
But it happened to me a few times that whenever they handed over my coffee, they were looking at me just a little bit too long.
It made me confused.
I mean, I was just there to get a coffee.
I didn’t ask for a gesture of something related to that.
Another thing that happened was that the girl behind the counter asked if I wanted to open a tab, so I could order more if I was going to sit down.
I understand that it would be convenient for perhaps both.
But then again.
I am just ordering my coffee.
I am not there for any difficult questions I want to answer.
I told her that I was going to see later if I wanted to order anything else.
‘The coffee is good for now’, is what I said.
Somehow she seemed a bit disappointed, because she was looking down somewhere at the counter.
Of course that is my interpretation of what happened.
Maybe her question meant something different, besides to open the tab and order something more at ‘my conveniences’ and pay whenever I was leaving.
But then again, I don’t even like girls in that way.
And that also happened the other time, when the girl looked a bit too long in my eyes.
It makes me wonder if there is something unsure about my sexuality.
That it is something only related to being single or that it is just my short hair?
So many questions.
I was just ordering coffee.
And my day didn’t even start yet.
Perhaps I am a bit aggravated or somehow overwhelmed by the things that happened.
Just for me to say, I didn’t know they were an option whilst ordering a coffee.
I can understand that conversations can lead to something more, even if it is something not even related to dating or love as such.
But I believe that when I am ordering a coffee, I just want my coffee.
Not any question or mixed feelings.
I didn’t ask for that.
I just asked for a coffee.
It feels weird that I somehow have to set a boundary there, by saying I just want my coffee.
Which to me is obvious.
Since I am just ordering coffee.
But then again I am still building resistant.
Because love is also that.
It could also be that the girls in particular were just a little bit lonely and wanted to feel loved.
Or perhaps there is a love at first sight for me waiting?
Maybe it was just something in my aura, that was stuck?
That it needed to be healed and it came out like this?
In any case, whatever it is.
I hope I can just have my cup of coffee, without to have to ask any question not related to ordering to anything else but to order what I want to have.
For my day to appropiate start.