A story about judgement is coming to my mind.
How can judgement influence our love life?
Is it something from the inside, an innervoice that we are judgemental to ourselves?
That keeps us bound to our own ways?
Instead of mingling and getting ready for it.
Could that be a reason we are still single?
Judgement a world that is known and unknown at the same time.
Without judgement we can not make a decision, perhaps even choice.
Where we should be, which way to go.
It could be to follow that direction home or to be left heartbroken.
Which starts with that judgement, we make prior.
To anything and utmost.
Balancing out what we need, not necessarily what we want.
It is what makes judgement so important.
However, that is not the reason why I am writing this story.
I believe there is more to it.
That innervoice, who speaks all day long, is a guide for us.
Greater than influence or anything else.
Nothing can compare with judgement, that voice.
It is making me think how much of our love choices comes from that.
When you think of it, it is mindblowing.
However there is another thing of judgement that can keep us from that direction we want to go.
Love related or not, it is a fact.
Where it stays bound to ourselves, although our wishes might be different.
To be loved and held.
Caressed and worshiped.
Hugged and kissed.
Perhaps something more.
Whatever it might be.
It is those words we tell ourselves, about others.
That can keep us stabilized in a place.
Where we might not want to be.
Single and alone as an example.
I count myself to those, too.
However I believe there can be more reasons for that, of course.
It is the story we keep repeating what we think and like.
In silence, when we fall asleep.
Perhaps even when we sit with those people, who are in that relationship.
Where we think we are so much smarter and we would never do anything like that.
How stupid they are and that we never want that kind of relationship.
Just saying the words, to make it clear.
True is not the right word, since we can not tell.
It is not our story, not our love life.
However it is giving the expectation to ourselves, at that moment.
With pronouncing that judgement.
To expect nothing and far underneath what we are seeing.
Whatever that is.
That judgement we have, is making sure we are reaching for something less than we are spectating.
Which can truly be anything.
What I am saying is that this kind of judgement can be counter productive and it stays with us.
Even when having this intention, saying it to those others.
Nothing they feel from it, since they are entertaining that kind of relationship we have no clue about.
It means that judgement is ours.
Congratulations, I guess.
Just to give you a reason why you are single, perhaps staying single for this reason.
Isn’t that amazing?
I think, yes.
So, how to move forward from it?
It is quite simple, at least what I think.
If judgement can keep us bound to something we don’t want, then sure it can also work the other way around.
To say, judgement can make us get into that kind of relationship.
That is the good news.
Instead of saying what we think. What we think is happening.
What kind of relationship these people are having.
We know now that this is not true.
Since it is not our story, not our love life.
And that is the judgement we need to make.
We need to say that it is not our story, not our love life.
Where everything stays to those in that kind of relationship.
Where it belongs.
When understanding what this means.
It opens up for ourselves, perhaps that relationship that is for us.
That story of our love life.
I hope so at least.
Because being single is just a phase we have to move through.
Something that is just temporary.
When you need to say those words first.
“It is not my story, not my love life”.
For you to close off and open up.
To reach the stars.
Whatever is waiting for you, since that is your story, your love life.