Love is emotional

Posted on by Lakshmi

It is a sense of belief I had.

I don’t think you can really call it an epiphany. 

That a community can bring so much more than we think about.
Not just the security and safety as a base to start from.

But it can give those experiences that are good for the heart and soul. 

Partying as an example. Drinking till early in the morning.
Being shit faced and still showing up for that sunday breakfast.
While we try to keep our eyes open and everyone around knows exactly where we have been and not even feeling sorry for us. Perhaps even laughing a little bit, not just behind our back, also not laughing in our face. 
Enough to feel just that, where we will remember till this day.

It could be the only way to go, to grow up and become.
Or finding the one we love.

It is where we are doing things that are on the edge, perhaps even we know we shouldn’t do.
Or at least when we think about it later, telling ourselves that it was a bit tricky, yes. 

However there is no regret, just a smile on the face to capture that moment that somehow still is there.
Making us feel alive from the inside.

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Object of my love desire

Posted on by Lakshmi

How beautiful what this stare in my eyes was showing.

By not following his eyes, but closing mine, staring it down. 

It was telling this story.

A softness I am expressing, a way to be compassionate about him.
I think he is also just human, going with what he has.
I guess that is just what it is. 

Although it did make me angry just a little.
The way he stared into my eyes.

It is an invasion of my space, perhaps even time.
Where I am asleep from the inside for reasons that are good for me.

Taking a rest doesn’t always happen when we have our eyes closed.

From a human perspective you would do too, honestly. 

However that stare woke me up, to understand that fire I have inside of me.

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Are photos part of the journey of love?

Posted on by Lakshmi

As that love story : ‘Will love happen in the future?’ tells a story with a photographer and about what we are doing. 

‘Some cultures think that photos or photography can take away your soul’.

I believe we will be meeting at a place where we are both comfortable or uncomfortable at the same time.
It would be the same difference. 

It is a way to come together, where we would bring each other down to continue on the beaten path. 

Not to say we need to lessen or lower our standards.
I am not speaking about bringing each other down in a negative way. 

But to bring us down for us to continue where we should go. 

A feeling I have of being uncomfortable with myself as an example.
Where he is so open to do that.

Letting his eyes speak.
Something he is comfortable with.

Perhaps another lesson of love I need to find for myself. 

It would bring me down, to the core of myself.

Where I could help him find his purpose in life.
Because I think that is something that he is questioning himself.

Something I already know.

To develop that part of himself, that is sleeping still. 
Which I can wake up with that wildness that I have inside of me.

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Love is to cry a river

Posted on by Lakshmi

This encounter I had with him explains that we can grow as a person by not just following any river.
Rather to cry one and keep it close to our own.

Walking that path where we can see in the dark, rather than taking that leap, without understanding.

It is this sadness that could turn into something positive.
Where this death of what is not able to live, would find its place outside of myself.

For me to be open for this kind of love to happen one day.

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A little love crush

Posted on by Lakshmi

With having this little crush, what was nice for its worth. 
There are certainly some things that I will remember.
Perhaps even something I needed in my love journey.

I was feeling hot and cold at the same time, however it wasn’t like a fever.
More like a wild night on a rainy day. 

I was thinking ahead if I would go there and then changed my plans accordingly. 

I was nervous just a little and I think I did show that to him a couple of times.
Fuck, I was really scared when that happened.
However, I think he also didn’t really know what to do with the situation.

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A love agreement from me to you

Posted on by Lakshmi

Whatever it was you wanted, it was without a doubt.
But the way you were looking for that contact was too strong and without solid ground.

I just didn’t understand where it was coming from.
It didn’t make sense to me.

However, only if it was something that we agreed on, once upon a time.
That it was your intense stare to wake me up and try to understand how you can reach for my heart.

So, I am telling you now.
It is ok by me that you stare into my eyes, trying to tell me a story with your soul, but only with the agreement that it has to come from the right point of view.

That is the boundary I am putting.

Anything love related has to come from you and only you.
Not someone that told you or something else related to that.

Then when that day comes, I will see if it is love related.

Whatever it is, you can figure out for yourself.

Only when it comes from the right point of view, perhaps even mindset, can I take it seriously and look at it for what it is.

Anything else will break my heart.

Because who is the hunter is not the question.
I think we are both wanting the same thing.
And that is all quite intense.

But I feel what this holds, only a one time thing would not suit us best. 

I am letting you think about what that is.

For you to remember that whatever it is you want, it needs to come from the right point of view. 

That is the love agreement from me to you.

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Being single is a course of love and living

Posted on by Lakshmi

Also I believe in the purpose of being single.
Where I mean kissing and any other thing related to that, without any attachment and responsibility.

Because those are some things I believe we need to fulfill.

Something essential for us to pass to the next chapter in our lovelife.

Whatever that is and means. 

Because one day we will die for sure.

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Is a love relationship to be with someone to feel good about ourselves?

Posted on by Lakshmi

Could it be that people are in relationships with each other, because one is less than the other and people are feeling better about themselves for this reason?

It sounds so stupid to write it down like this, but I guess it is a truth that is out there.
One I am getting aware about right now.

It is a form of dependence in my eyes, this kind of relationship. 
One depending on the other and the other feeling good about themselves.
When I was thinking about this a bit more deeper, it could even be that these kinds of people are taking a form of identity from that. 

Toxic, it is.

The only word that is popping up for me is to write it down like it.

I just have no other way to express and tell.
I hope one day I can make this sound better than it does at the moment.

Then I came to that point during my little break, where I was understanding why I was still single.

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Committing to ourselves can lead to a love relationship

Posted on by Lakshmi

The difference in this context between a commitment and relationship has to do with that we start being committed to ourselves which can result in being in a relationship.

If you would ask me at least.

Being committed to ourselves is the start of being in a relationship.

Where we are committed to ourselves in becoming those parts that are necessary to love.
Necessary for ourselves to become, to be loved by someone.

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